March 9, 2022
Debbie Ballangarry is a proud Indigenous Australian woman, whom is currently studying LINGUISTICS. We bumped into each other across a crowded TikTok recently (where she posts loads of educational information and supports Indigenous Artists, performers, activists and Creators). You could say we hit it off.
You can hear her smiling when she speaks. Our chat covers a lot including the bad old days of segregation and The White Australia Policy. We also discuss was like for her to grow up Indigenous in the 70s & 80s and yet, still share our commonalities as 'Aussies'. As an older woman and a feminist I was particularly interested in talking about being an Elder. In her culture, Elders are respected and revered. In so called Civilised 'western' culture, Elders are often pushed aside and mistreated.
Aunty Deb, is a tenacious and witty human being - we had a grand chinwag. Oh and added bonus: I ogt to learn a couple of Aboriginal words!
LINKS: My Patreon
Obituary of David Gulpilil
SunnM'cheaux Harvard Language professor & activist
Music: This episode's Background Music is my original release. See the clip here.
November 20, 2021
HELLO MY LOVES,
No new podcast this week, but PLEASE have a listen to this quick little bite-sized preview, I have a few little tidbits of EXCITING NEWS to share. NO SPOILERS. However, there are, as always - LINKS:
Sex Toys for the Holidays? (use the code word 'eloquent' for a discount!)
WATCH my previous interviewee, Phoebe ("I grew up in a Cult") Dorin interview me. It was recorded back in June of last year but was just released this week!
*voting for the Australian Podcast Awards has closed.
STOP PRESS: Update: January 13. Guess who's got Covid? Yep. Pod will remain in hiatus till Feb.
October 18, 2021
Meet Mia Shachter - AKA "THE CONSENT WIZARD" They are, among other things, a consent and boundaries coach. Visit the SHARE THE LOAD website for more information as well as a fabulous list of courses you can partake in to help you navigate your personal boundaries and expand your ideas around consent.
I particularly wanted to talk boundaries in this ep. As someone living with childhood trauma anxiety and abandonment issues, I definitely over burden myself in many ways. And that's where we started. Where we ended up is a beautiful free fall into the concepts of fate, destiny, linear time, object reality and that magical feeling when you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a moment that you felt you'd been preparing for your whole life.
LINKS: Mentioned in this podcast "Betty and Sarah" also known as fab consent experts whom I have interviewed previously: Betty, the author of The Wheel of Consent and Sarah the creator of the Comprehensive Consent resource for parents and educators.
NIKKI DARLING - click this special link for 5% discount on a vast array of genderless sex toys. Mention the name "Eloquent" at the check out.
September 26, 2021
The Madonna/Whore Diaries - a series of interviews.
We pick up where we left off, tallking about how women's body image changes as we get older and delve into the deeper truths about our search for sexual adventure. Obviously the topic of how much porn has influenced the way younger men behave in bead, rears it's ugly head. One thing's for sure, the older you get, the more valuable it is to retain a sense of humour! There were so many interesting rabbit holes to go down with this fun chat and we definitely went there. Visit Patsy's HELLA COUGAR various websites here: WEBSITE, TIKTOK and INSTAGRAM. She'll make you smile!
Visit NIKKI DARLING For a vast array of genderless Sexual Pleasure Items - USE THE CODE: "ELOQUENT" at the check out for a special 5% discount.
September 18, 2021
The MADONNA WHORE DIARIES INTERVIEW SERIES #3
Why does heteronormativity dictate that the male partner should be the older person? Why does society barely even notice when Hollywood leading men, play opposite women 20 years their junior?
Why do we call the younger male partners of older female celebs, "Toy Boys".
And what about same sex relationships?
When it comes to casual liaisons between intelligent, consenting adults - how much does age really matter, and how much does it play into old fashioned patriarchal and 'ageist' stereotypes?
Let's face it, society not only paints older people as 'ugly', it also underestimates the self-awareness, discernment and agency of younger folx who really want to date them.
SO MUCH TO UNPACK and Patsy Menuti aka "HELLA COUGAR" helps me get through some of it! Patsy, 50, is a yoga teacher and life coach, who exhuberantly shares her "spiritual journey as a COUGAR" via her WEBSITE, TIKTOK and INSTAGRAM. She's warm, extremely down to earth and hella funny.
MORE LINKS MENTIONED:
Cindy Gallop Ted Talk about bedding younger men the affect porn has had on their sex education.
NIKKI DARLING Genderless Pleasure Toys - don't forget to use the code "ELOQUENT" at the check out for a special 5% discount.
September 4, 2021
The Madonna Whore Diaries Continues...
Phoebe Dorin and I pick up where we left off last time...where was that? Oh yeah, we were just about to talk about ...breast orgasms.
There's much discussion about the objectification and 'ownership' aspect of breasts. Cos let's face it, they do get co-opted A LOT! The thing that seems to cause all the trouble and confusion regarding sexual enjoyment during pregnancy and after, has literally everything to do with women taking back ownership of their bodies.
Look, it's a very breast-heavy ep. Speaker to speaker BOOBS. If anyone is playing drinking games while listenting: DO NOT NOMINATE THE WORD 'NIPPLE' AS YOUR DRINKING PROMPT! You'll get hammered!
Suggested reading: Fresh Milk - The Secret Life of Breasts by Fiona Giles (2003)
And don't forget, as mentioned in the podcast I have started a partnership with NIKKI DARLING (Sexual Health and Pleasure retailer, so if you click on the link above, and use the code word ELOQUENT you receive 5% off). Check out my rapturous review of a fabulous stimulation devise - that has literally become this girl's best friend. Please consider joining my PATREON!
August 31, 2021
THE MADONNA WHORE DIARIES - Conversation No. 2
This week we welcome back Phoebe ("I was raised in a cult") Dorin for a very different chat. We have a deep and intimate and very candid discussion about how pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding affected/enhanced our sexuality and sense of ourselves. Because of how society views mothers as either sex objects (MILFS), or angels walking the earth (nuturing and pure) - it's a fine line to tread, to reclaim your sense of (sexy) self, while adjusting to the very real and serious responsibilities of motherhood. And speaking of Breast Orgasms...As mentioned in the podcast I have started a partnership with NIKKI DARLING (Sexual Health and Pleasure retailer, so if you click on the link above, and use the code word ELOQUENT you receive 5% off. Check out my rapturous review of a fabulous stimulation devise - that has literally become this girl's best friend.
MUSIC: 'A Mother's Confession' - Amanda Palmer (c) 2019
August 17, 2021
THE MADONNA WHORE DIARIES PART 2
This episode picks up the conversation exactly where it left off - the topic was faking orgasm - which is obviously a whole other thing when you're talking about sex work! We then continue exploring how Meagan's sexuality evolved during the course of her career as a sex worker and how it has influenced her present and future plans. I also finish this episode pondering the topic of vulnerability and how this perceived 'weakness' is at the heart of the Madonna/Whore narrative.
Why is intimacy so scary? How close do we let ourselves get to the people we love and/or desire and how does this play out when squished into the vice like grip of society's expectations around the prescribed power balance in relationships. Why are sexually liberated women also seen as aggressive seductresses?
Oh, so many rabbit holes to explore in the coming weeks!
Click here to see the female anatomy diagram mentioned in this ep.
August 14, 2021
NEW SERIES: THE MADONNA/WHORE DIARIES
This series will feature three conversations with three diverse women - a sex worker, an expectant/nursing mum and a self-confessed 'cougar'. This interesting bunch struck me as the perfect cross section of stereotype templates reqiured to have a really good rummage around the length and depth of the annoyingly enduring Madonna Whore Complex! How does it play out in society - still; and does that affect women, internally.
You know, the good girl/bad girl bullshit, the moral double standards, the hypocritical taboos and the undeniably Freudian concepts. It's all bound to reveal itself when unapologetically sexually adventurous women shake off the yoke of respectability and get real about what feels good.
THIS EPISODE: Meagan has been a sex worker since her late teens and now - 15 years later - she's in hiatus. It's a great time to reflect on her sexual evolution - and how societal attitudes may have impacted it. Meagan recounts her journey - and its hights and lows - with total candour. Interestingly, now that she's in her early 30s, she's experiencing something of an erotic rennaissance. Having 'faked' countless orgasms, she's now opening herself up to the fullness of ecstatic pleasure. Part 2 of this interview comes out on Tuesday.
Join me on Patreon
July 30, 2021
As promised, here I am with fabulous psychotherapist, sex therapist, lecturer and author, Dr Laurie Mintz about how she came to write the book "Becoming Cliterate" in 2017 and the powerful impact it has had on people's lives. We trade questions and stories and get down to some very nitty gritty aspects of female sexuality. It's a very fun and quite revealing chat! Check out the links mentioned:
Dr Laurie Mintz
The Clit Test
Magnificent Sex Book
AND DON'T FORGET THE FIRST FOUR EPISODES OF THE ELOQUENT IN THE ROOM "2020 AN ORGASMIC ODDITY" is entirely about 'what, how and why' of orgasm. And each of the show notes have more groovy links!
AND PLEASE CHECK OUT MY PATREON
July 9, 2021
Interview with Phoebe Dorin PART 2!
As promised here's part two of this fabulously intimate discussion about religion, spirituality, sexuality, gender roles, sexual objectification....oh and yes, and how it dawned on Phoebe a couple of years ago, that she was raised in RELIGIOUS CULT.
It's hard to sum our interview up in a few words, but let's just say we GO THERE (and there and there and over there). Make sure you check out her podcasts, "Sexuality After..." and "My Messy Lessons". And do follow me on Instagram...It's fun. I've even been partying in my birthday suit this week.
July 6, 2021
Phoebe Dorin is a relationship and sexuality coach; a podcaster, and a couple of years ago, she fully realised that the strict religious family she grew up with was actually part of a CULT - which goes by several different names (which members are meant to keep a secret).
We swapped notes about how our vastly different childhoods shaped us – but it's fascinating how our similarly curious natures, lead us both away from becoming terminally sexually repressed!
We chatted for nearly three hours, I crammed the best bits into 2x1 Hour eps. We continually weave in and out of the hot topics of sex and spirituality. Organised religion and The Patriarchy, are virtually interchangeable when discussing the suppression of women generally, but when diverse women get together to talk, we discover we all possess an innate spirituality - which has a 'twin' connection to our primal, unfettered and unapologetic humanity.
Who knows, maybe mere mortals can be 'saved' after all - we just need to find the light within.
Part Two drops July 9.
Want to learn more about how to be a better Intersectional Feminist? (this means you too, guys) Follow Evelyn Nam here: @herspectivefeminism
June 18, 2021
Welcome Back to the Vent Tent.
We vent, we rant, we groan and moan. And have a few laughs as well. In Part 2 we get to the meat and two veg of it all. Ginny shares some godawful encounters she's experienced on Instagram, being harrassed, and how it has affected her sense of personal freedom and autonomy on her Instagram page @mydisabledsexlife. We also touch on her history with her disabilities, and the medical gaslighting she's encountered. Along the way we both ponder the many ways in which society has become desensitised to what constitutes normal, average, civilised behaviour between sweaty, self-absorbed men and young women on social media. Here's a clue lads: stop sending dick pix. Stop expecting people to respond to your rude advances.
As they say in the UK, SOD OFF!
June 11, 2021
Meet "Ginny" from @mydisabledsexlife on Instagram. She's a 25 year old, bi-queer, disabled ball of love, wisdom and humour from the UK. She has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Osteo-arthritis, Depression, Anxiety and is Chronically CUTE. I met her on Instagram shortly after she launched her page and I've watched her blossom over the past year. We've been wanting to chat for AGES and finally got together earlier this week when she was needing to have a very big VENT about the level of harrassment she deals with online. As it's PRIDE MONTH, we lead with that fact in this ep - as well learning about her journey to becoming an Insta Goddess. We also talk about our parallel journey towards embracing and embodying intersectional feminism. This chat made me confront my internalised ableism in a much more tangible way - both as an able bodied human and as a person who has mental health issues. If you're not already following her, then maybe you should! And follow all the accounts that Ginny mentions in the podcast! Stay tuned for Part 2 next FRIDAY!
May 11, 2021
It's a Story from the Vault! #6
In 2012, I wrote an article about the tragic farce that is Reality TV. Little did I know just how much worse things would get. The most recent season of Married At First Sight was, by anyone's estimation, an abomination of gross negligence towards the people to whom they had promised a happily ever after. Where was the duty of care? Reality TV is toxic. I don't go into the sordid details about the actual scandals (for that stuff check out the So Dramatic Podcast).
I'm not here to share salacious gossip. Instead I'm here confess some details about my short stint as a tabloid journalist and to put shit on the giant pile of shit show that is all reality tv. It's crazy to witness what's happening now and compare it with that which was portrayed in the portentious film NETWORK 1976.
This article not only stands up all these years later - it's got me fired up all over again. Let's all get mad as hell!
This episode features MY NEW TUNE!
"Everybody" by The Eloquent in the Room (c) 2021. That's the video link - HAVE I MENTIONED I HAVE A NEW SONG OUT? It's available on Spotify, itunes and all the streaming services.
GOOD VALUE 'REALITY' PODCASTS:
Behind the Bastards
My Year in Mensa
WTF with Marc Maron
John Safran's Race Relations is available on iTunes
NETWORK can be streamed in Australia on STAN
April 27, 2021
Adulting Consent...Part 7
Did you hear the one about the Australian Government's Consent Education Program? If only it was funny. Coincidentally this week I have a deep and far reaching conversation with Cheryl M Bradshaw - a Canadian author and psychotherapist who has written critically acclaimed books such as "Real Talk About Sex and Consent."
Distributing her book and screening her Youtube Seminars in schools could have saved the Australian Government a shitload of money. But where would the fun of all international ridicule be in that? It's going to be one of the great ironies of our time that this absolute debacle, masquerading as a Consent Education Program for teens could have sparked the most invigorating and productive debate on the topic yet. Not the least of which, I hasten to add, is contained in this THIS EPISODE!
CHERYL'S TEDx TALK
Mr Weinstein Will See You Now
Who is Chanel Contos?
Getting Past Your Past
and here's my SONG LINK!
April 13, 2021
INTERVIEW WITH GEMMA LUCY SMART
Eighteen months after experiencing sexual assault, Gemma Lucy Smart (University Lecturer) made the courageous decision to report it to police. The Police and the Department of Public Prosecutions then went to great lengths to question her repeatedly to ensure she was 100% convincned she wanted to 'put herself through the process'.
*Not because they didn't believe her.
*Not because she wasn't an extremely credible witness.
*But because these cases almost never result in a conviction.
Because the system is broken.
While this sad fact can dissuade many people from reporting dehumanising crimes that are committed against them, we must not let this fact keep us silent. Gemma is particularly well versed in law, so to have her meticulously unpack this experience, is compelling listening. She is now on a mission to change the legal prodedures around sexual assault. We'd be grateful if you would share this podcast with anybody and everybody, who might help her on that mission.
Sexual Abuse Support
Sexual Assault Stats in Australia
March 29, 2021
This week's podcast had to be rescheduled for April 13 and, as it's absolutely going to be the most important podcast interview I'll have recorded to date - it deserved a trailer!
(teeny soundbite included from this Channel Nine Interview)
March 16, 2021
(Adulting Consent P6)
Ok, so far in this series we've explored the concept of 'pleasure-forward' conversations around consent (Interview with "Wheel of Consent" founder, Betty Martin - Eps 11&12) AND we've had a titilating conversation with Wyoh Lee (eps 16/17/18) about communicating boundaries with lovers, within the framework of BDSM (which provides a surprisingly straightforward template for all consent discussions, even in vanilla sex) which is all well and good for those of us who are old enough to know better (but still young enough to enjoy a robust sex life) but what about our children? What are we teaching them about consent and boundaries?
Perhaps a better question to ask, is how would you, as a parent, like this topic to be raised to your children. Let me present Exhibit A - Comprehensive Consent. After listening to this interview with Sarah about her programs, and checking out her website, you might like to recommend this approach where YOUR children go to school. Or your grandchildren. It takes a global village to raise self-aware people!
March 2, 2021
(Adulting Consent part five and a half?)
CW: Contains references to child abuse.
If you listened to the previous episode, you'll be eagerly waiting for the other shoe to drop – cos that one was a bit of a cliff hanger.
Well, just a bit. A smidge, even.
This episode RECAPS the ADULTING CONSENT journey thus far, and previews the what lay ahead - while I also reveal a bit of candid INSIGHT into my heavily-flawed creative process and my deep, dark secret to how get/stay motivated. YOU CAN TOO! All in all it's a bit of a mixed bag of silliness and seriousness in equal measure. We even look at another snippet from that very weird and controversial early 1970s tome: The Little Red School Book.