The Eloquent in the Room

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July 9, 2021  

I was raised in a CULT part 2 (INTERVIEW)

Interview with Phoebe Dorin PART 2!

As promised here's part two of this fabulously intimate discussion about religion, spirituality, sexuality, gender roles, sexual objectification....oh and yes, and how it dawned on Phoebe a couple of years ago, that she was raised in  RELIGIOUS CULT.  

It's hard to sum our interview up in a few words, but let's just say we GO THERE (and there and there and over there). Make sure you check out her podcasts, "Sexuality After..." and "My Messy Lessons". And do follow me on Instagram...It's fun. I've even been partying in my birthday suit this week. 

July 6, 2021  

“I was raised in a CULT but My Sexuality Freed me!” Part 1 (Interview)

Phoebe Dorin is a relationship and sexuality coach; a podcaster, and a couple of years ago, she fully realised that the strict religious family she grew up with was actually part of a CULT - which goes by several different names (which members are meant to keep a secret).

We swapped notes about how our vastly different childhoods shaped us – but it's fascinating how our similarly curious natures, lead us both away from becoming terminally sexually repressed!

We chatted for nearly three hours, I crammed the best bits into 2x1 Hour eps. We continually weave in and out of the hot topics of sex and spirituality. Organised religion and The Patriarchy, are virtually interchangeable when discussing the suppression of women generally, but when diverse women get together to talk, we discover we all possess an innate spirituality - which has a 'twin' connection to our primal, unfettered and unapologetic humanity.

Who knows, maybe mere mortals can be 'saved' after all - we just need to find the light within. 

Part Two drops July 9.

Want to learn more about how to be a better Intersectional Feminist? (this means you too, guys) Follow Evelyn Nam here: @herspectivefeminism

 

June 18, 2021  

Inside the Vent Tent with Ginny PART 2.

Welcome Back to the Vent Tent. 

We vent, we rant, we groan and moan. And have a few laughs as well. In Part 2 we get to the meat and two veg of it all. Ginny shares some godawful encounters she's experienced on Instagram, being harrassed, and how it has affected her sense of personal freedom and autonomy on her Instagram page @mydisabledsexlife. We also touch on her history with her disabilities, and the medical gaslighting she's encountered. Along the way we both ponder the many ways in which society has become desensitised to what constitutes normal, average, civilised behaviour between sweaty, self-absorbed men and young women on social media. Here's a clue lads: stop sending dick pix. Stop expecting people to respond to your rude advances.

As they say in the UK, SOD OFF!

 

June 11, 2021  

Inside the VENT TENT with GINNY part 1

Meet "Ginny" from @mydisabledsexlife on Instagram. She's a 25 year old, bi-queer, disabled ball of love, wisdom and humour from the UK. She has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Osteo-arthritis, Depression, Anxiety and is Chronically CUTE. I met her on Instagram shortly after she launched her page and I've watched her blossom over the past year. We've been wanting to chat for AGES and finally got together earlier this week when she was needing to have a very big VENT about the level of harrassment she deals with online. As it's PRIDE MONTH, we lead with that fact in this ep - as well learning about her journey to becoming an Insta Goddess. We also talk about our parallel journey towards embracing and embodying intersectional feminism. This chat made me confront my internalised ableism in a much more tangible way - both as an able bodied human and as a person who has mental health issues. If you're not already following her, then maybe you should! And follow all the accounts that Ginny mentions in the podcast!  Stay tuned for Part 2 next FRIDAY! 

May 11, 2021  

REALITY TV & OTHER OXYMORONS

It's a Story from the Vault! #6

In 2012, I wrote an article about the tragic farce that is Reality TV. Little did I know just how much worse things would get. The most recent season of Married At First Sight was, by anyone's estimation, an abomination of gross negligence towards the people to whom they had promised a happily ever after. Where was the duty of care? Reality TV is toxic. I don't go into the sordid details about the actual scandals (for that stuff check out the So Dramatic Podcast).

I'm not here to share salacious gossip. Instead I'm here confess some details about my short stint as a tabloid journalist and to put shit on the giant pile of shit show that is all reality tv. It's crazy to witness what's happening now and compare it with that which was portrayed in the portentious film NETWORK 1976.

This article not only stands up all these years later - it's got me fired up all over again. Let's all get mad as hell!

This episode features MY NEW TUNE!

"Everybody" by The Eloquent in the Room (c) 2021. That's the video link - HAVE I MENTIONED I HAVE A NEW SONG OUT? It's available on Spotify, itunes and all the streaming services. 

GOOD VALUE 'REALITY' PODCASTS: 

Behind the Bastards

My Year in Mensa

WTF with Marc Maron

John Safran's Race Relations is available on iTunes

NETWORK can be streamed in Australia on STAN

 

 

 

 

April 27, 2021  

Dissecting “Milkshake-Gate” with Cheryl M Bradshaw

Adulting Consent...Part 7

Did you hear the one about the Australian Government's Consent Education Program? If only it was funny. Coincidentally this week I have a deep and far reaching conversation with Cheryl M Bradshaw - a Canadian author and psychotherapist who has written critically acclaimed books such as "Real Talk About Sex and Consent."

Distributing her book and screening her Youtube Seminars in schools could have saved the Australian Government a shitload of money. But where would the fun of all international ridicule be in that? It's going to be one of the great ironies of our time that this absolute debacle, masquerading as a Consent Education Program for teens could have sparked the most invigorating and productive debate on the topic yet. Not the least of which, I hasten to add, is contained in this THIS EPISODE!

LINKS MENTIONED:

CHERYL'S TEDx TALK

Cheryl's Website.

Cheryl's Youtube

Mr Weinstein Will See You Now

Who is Chanel Contos?

Getting Past Your Past

and here's my SONG LINK! 

April 13, 2021  

“I DID REPORT; WE WENT TO COURT. THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED” (INTERVIEW)

INTERVIEW WITH GEMMA LUCY SMART

Eighteen months after experiencing sexual assault, Gemma Lucy Smart (University Lecturer) made the courageous decision to report it to police. The Police and the Department of Public Prosecutions then went to great lengths to question her repeatedly to ensure she was 100% convincned she wanted to 'put herself through the process'.

*Not because they didn't believe her.

*Not because she wasn't an extremely credible witness.

*But because these cases almost never result in a conviction.

Because the system is broken.

While this sad fact can dissuade many people from reporting dehumanising crimes that are committed against them, we must not let this fact keep us silent. Gemma is particularly well versed in law, so to have her meticulously unpack this experience, is compelling listening.  She is now on a mission to change the legal prodedures around sexual assault. We'd be grateful if you would share this podcast with anybody and everybody, who might help her on that mission.

Sexual Abuse Support 

Contact Gemma 

Sexual Assault Stats in Australia

March 29, 2021  

TEASER TRAILER!

This week's podcast had to be rescheduled for April 13 and, as it's absolutely going to be the most important podcast interview I'll have recorded to date - it deserved a trailer!  

 

(teeny soundbite included from this Channel Nine Interview)

March 16, 2021  

Consent can be Child’s Play!

(Adulting Consent P6)

Ok, so far in this series we've explored the concept of 'pleasure-forward' conversations around consent (Interview with "Wheel of Consent" founder, Betty Martin - Eps 11&12) AND we've had a titilating conversation with Wyoh Lee (eps 16/17/18) about communicating boundaries with lovers, within the framework of BDSM (which provides a surprisingly straightforward template for all consent discussions, even in vanilla sex)  which is all well and good for those of us who are old enough to know better (but still young enough to enjoy a robust sex life) but what about our children? What are we teaching them about consent and boundaries? 

Perhaps a better question to ask, is how would you, as a parent, like this topic to be raised to your children. Let me present Exhibit A - Comprehensive Consent. After listening to this interview with Sarah about her programs, and checking out her website, you might like to recommend this approach where YOUR children go to school. Or your grandchildren. It takes a global village to raise self-aware people!

 

March 2, 2021  

ADULTING CREATIVITY….AND STUFF

(Adulting Consent part five and a half?)

CW: Contains references to child abuse.

If you listened to the previous episode, you'll be eagerly waiting for the other shoe to drop – cos that one was a bit of a cliff hanger.

Well, just a bit. A smidge, even.

This episode RECAPS the ADULTING CONSENT journey thus far, and previews the what lay ahead - while I also reveal a bit of candid INSIGHT into my heavily-flawed creative process and my deep, dark secret to how get/stay motivated. YOU CAN TOO! All in all it's a bit of a mixed bag of silliness and seriousness in equal measure. We even look at another snippet from that very weird and controversial early 1970s tome: The Little Red School Book. 

February 16, 2021  

Wyoh Part 3: Love, Connection and BDSM

Adulting Consent #5

NB: Since recording this interview on Jan 7, some disturbing (albeit predictable) revelations came to light about Marilyn Manson, to which he/they replied in a statement - 'the relationships were consensual'. The tacit implication here is that the people who have come forward were somehow complicit in the abuse they received - because they capitulated to his coercion, threats and mind games. The intention? To paint it as garden variety BDSM practice. I cannot say how proud and relieved I am, that this conversation about what BDSM actually looks like, is seeing the light of day now. Your feedback, as always is encouraged and welcomed. 

 

During the course of this conversation we have shared individual experiences with intimacy and relationships, being descriptive and honest but also philosophical - discussing everything from sexual boredom in long term relationships to experiencing sex as a transcendent, spiritual experience (which we both had in common!). Oddly, the Bible also gets a brief mention.

Importantly though, we dug deeper into the emotional rewards Wyoh experiences from being a sub – and then we rounded it all out both expressing just how strongly our artistic creativity chimes in with our mutual intrigue, fascination, and celebration of our sexuality.

For Wyoh (and me) sex is truly it's own artform. And art is brain sex.

If that sentiment hits the spot for you too, you'll love this episode. 

*See show notes for part one for book references and links.

Follow me on Instagram

February 2, 2021  

WYOH PART 2: “Love, Connection and BDSM”!

(ADULTING CONSENT #4)

In this second segment of my truly intimate and very revealing interview with "Sex Stories" podcast host: Wyoh Lee, we discover how Wyoh emerged from a relatively conservative upbringing to embrace the role of a dedicated, grateful, super orgasmic submissive in her late 28s.  I've never considered myself to be 'conservative' in the least - I have my kinky moments, but through these conversations, I found that I have had to challenge myself to overcome certain preconceptions and cognitive biases about BDSM scene. In some ways, Wyoh and I could NOT be more different, but in the ways that matter most, we are absolutely two peas in a pod. Firstly, we both want to protect women! 

And, we both want connection & ecstacy. We just get it in different ways.

NOTE: This DELIGHTFUL conversation does come with Content Warnings at the beginning. And reminders throughout that CONSENT awareness and knowledge around these practices are VITAL. So if you're considering diving into the colourful world of kink, you might want to have a quick listen to this ep first! *See first ep show notes for links and references.

January 19, 2021  

Love, Connnection….and BDSM with Wyoh Lee (1/3)

(ADULTING CONSENT #3) 

While the topic of BDSM was what brought Wyoh and I together for THIS interview, it's not the first time we have joined forces on the airwaves. We chatted at length on her Sex Stories Podcast last October – and that one was all about me and my sexy past. Well, now it's my turn to dig into her sexy present as a sub! 

I wasn't sure where the topic of BDSM would be placed in the "Adulting Consent' series, having just discussed the inner voyage of 'permission to experience pleasure' with Betty Martin, is where we left off in Episodes 11&12). It seemed like a leap. But Wyoh and I started chatting on the day after the Insurrection, so we had to check in with each other about everything that's going on in the US at the moment, and THIS part of our conversation provided the bridge. We pondered intimacy and connection as well as eroticism and also polyamory and a nice little tangent about being one's own muse (on social media). In essence, this episode is all about 'giving ourselves permission' - not only to accept pleasure; to explore our sexuality without shame, but also giving permission to BE our flawed, multi-layered, goofy, geeky, sexy-as-fuck selves....in whatever way we want. Because it's for World Peace!

 

BOOK NAMES DROPPED THROUGHOUT THIS INTERVIEW:

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Come As You Are Emily Nagoski

The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easson

The Erotic Mind - Jack Morin

Sex and God - Darrel Ray

The Wheel of Consent - Betty Martin

...and everything Brene Brown has ever written or broadcast.

And worthy folks to follow: 

The Blind Boy Podcast 

Janaya Khan

January 5, 2021  

Midday in the Terrarium of Good and Not Quite As Good

Time for a Soapbox Rant 

Well. Guess who's got her knickers in a knot? (points to self)...THIS GUY!

There's no denying that 2020 was a shit show, and no one needs me to tell them that. We're all still angry, disillusioned, scared and confused by it all.

And now 2020 is over.

So, what did we learn? What did we teach? How did we behave?

For my first podcast of the new year I felt in need to vent. Sure, a lot of things happened, globally, that were out of our collective control. But what about the shit bits that we did have control over? Like, the way we reacted to the information we were being fed? How we conduct ourselves on social media - specifically Facebook? Why do we even still trust FB? This week I share some observations about my own tiny corner of the world, over this past year – and I'm fairly certain my online experiences were common. The U.S. election might be over, but the stench of all the bullshit is still polluting the air. Lest we forget!

Music: Big Mouth” (2020) by Beugs (with permission of the artist.)

Links for the information sources mentioned in the podcast:

Sexplanations (the sex positive, fun, encyclopaedic version of sex ed we DESERVE)

Your Diagnonsense (The thinking person's shrink)

Some More News (Well-researched, meticulously-written bullshit dissection).

Behind the Bastards (calling out miscreants and charlatans throughout history)

Jameela Jamil (fuck the patriarchy)

Janaya The Future Khan (black lives matter)

Matthew Bernstein LGBTQIA Angel 

December 22, 2020  

On Vaginas, Friendship, The Universe and Everything.

Story from the Vault (with a twist) #4

Yes, life is still chaotic, so here's another personal story for the holidays! You may find this particular anecdote hard to believe. Looking back, I still find it hard to believe, myself. 

Do you believe in fate?

Destiny?

Have you ever asked the universe for your heart's desire? You know...The Law of Attraction kinda stuff, hmm?

NO? Well, after listening to this crazy yarn, you might want to reconsider.

As I revealed in ep 13 “Good Will Hunter”, luck played a considerable part in bringing him into my life as a mentor – which resulted in me embarking on an unlikely career as a journalist. Well, an even more unlikely, extremely fortuitous adventure followed.

They say: “be careful what you wish for”. Well, I was. I was very specific when I made one particular wish.

And fuck me sideways, it came true!

NB: The word 'Vagina', is thrown around willy nilly in this ep...BUT, tbh I actually really mean VULVA (the external female genitalia). However, because the word vulva is not as pervasive within the vernacular and I'm also talking about VDay and The Vagina Monologues and a website called Vagina Vérité .

...I stuck with the word 'vagina' for consistency. But...I meant Vulva. OK? BTW, I also mention vegemite, but I honestly did mean to do that. I certainly did not mean to say Marmite. Just to be clear.

*Includes "The Vegemite Song" by Amanda Fucking Palmer.

December 8, 2020  

Good Will Hunter - (Story from the Vault #3)

It's Story Time Again, Folx!

**Content Warning: Contains spontaneous, raw emotion**

Because 2020 is still being unpredictable AF and because it's December already (like, WTF?) I have stuck a wee pin in the "Adulting Consent" series till after the holidays and I am gifting you with this story from my life, that I have retrieved from the ol' vault. Remember that time I dusted off previous articles about Kissing and Oral Sex (Episodes 5 and 6) and read them out loud with FEELING? Well this is kinda like that, but with a lot less saliva and a lot more vulnerability and anxiety.

This is the real deal. It's an act of baring my heart and soul to read you this warm and fuzzy TRUE STORY about how I even became a journalist in the first place, which even caught me off-guard. You'll laugh, you'll cry....you also might hurl, (but if you do, it's probably something you ate).

ENJOY! 

 

Follow me on INSTAGRAM. If for no other reason than I'm paying a 'reels' tribute to Kate Bush for a whole year. No, really. 

November 24, 2020  

Part II of Interview with Betty Martin (2/2)

Adulting Consent #2

We're baaaack. As promised, here's part II of my extremely informative, completely irreverent, yet totally compelling interview with Betty Martin, the author of The Art of Giving and Receiving: The Wheel of Consent. As mentioned previously, if you want to know more about the practices that Betty espouses, there are some great instructional videos at bettymartin.org

This is where you will find out more about the book and learn cool trust games FOR FREE, like 'The Three Minute Game' (Betty mentions this only briefly in the podcast cos we were too busy chatting about orgasmic ecstacy and vulnerability & stuff, but that doesn't stop you from checking it out). Before listening to part 2, be sure you listen to part one! Both parts have their distinctive components. In Part One, Betty discusses how she became a Sacred (sexual) Intimate. In Part 2, we unpack our humanity in the context of how touch can trigger intense emotions. We ask - what makes Sacred Sex so 'sacred'? You get to hear me unloading some of my 'stuff' onto my new BFF and she reassures me I'm totally human.

What stuff you wonder?

Have a listen and find out. 

As a bonus, this podcast features (with the artist's permission) an original music track called "Your Skin Breathes Too" performed by Wandering Minstrel (feat DeepSea Lights). Make sure you also check the clip to this hypnotic track out on Youtube.

More links!

*Don't forget, The Eloquent in the Room has a cool spotify list too!

**Make sure you follow me on Instagram for more quirky and informative content!

***Betty makes brief mention of the book: "The Erotic Mind" by Jack Morin

November 10, 2020  

Interview with BETTY MARTIN (1/2)

Part one of a New Series: 'ADULTING CONSENT'

Ok so I think I've got it worked out; we've been travelling backwards through time! Great Scott! If episode one was about orgasm, then that means it's finally time, to start talking about CONSENT! See what I did there? I made a grand statement to illustrate just how BACKWARDS people can be around consent. It was an analo...oh never mind. Let's just say it's such a nuanced topic, that I decided to start with the very basics:

By definition, consent is an agreement between people! Hmm, an agreement about what, exactly?

You're stumped already, right?

Well, an agreement on everything, of course! Betty Martin is an expert on the topic, having spent ten years writing a book called The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Her extensive training as professional pleasure facillitator (do check her incredibly impressive BIO) motivated her to dig deeper into human erotic desire, it's origins, fundamental impulses, barriers, blockages, boundaries and how it all connects us to triggering emotions. Given that raw sexuality has always been treated as a taboo for women, just as a need for tenderness and affection has always been seen as a weakness in men, it's little wonder we don't often understand the 'give and take' of the sexual pleasure exchange. (Not to mention 'receiving and allowing'!) You can see now why I thought this interview needed to be digested in two pieces. 

Our conversation was so delicious, I wanted to delay gratification. Meanwhile, for more information how The Wheel of Consent works, there are free video lectures here which explain it all in fascinating detail. And do check out The Wheel of Consent on Instagram! Follow my Insta too, while you're at it! 

 

Enjoying the podcast? Want to support a starving artist, while obtaining some top quality tee shirts? Get your Eloquent Merch here 

 

 

October 27, 2020  

WHAT’S IN A NAME? (Interview)

IXNAY ON THE INARY BAY part 4. 

21 yrs ago, a musician named Quinn Carter was born in a female body.  By the time they were 12 they could play over a dozen instruments - including some pretty awesome vocal chords. But they were also completely sure their body was the wrong fit. 

By the time they were 16 they continued to hone their craft, learning from the industry’s best while simultaneously embarking on the confusing personal journey of authentic gender identification. Nowadays he embraces the pronouns he, him, his. And the name Lucas Alexander. He's a "Pre T" (testosterone) Transgender Man and LGBTQIA+ activist. He has also become a sought-after musical director; singer-songwriter; music teacher. Professionally he has kept his birth name as his stage name: Quinn Carter. I call him Luca.

In 2018, he wrote 2 LGBTQIA+ themed songs for Jopuka Productions original play “Gaybies” and earlier this year he performed live on the Jopuka float at the 2020 Sydney LBTQ+ Mardi Gras.

He was a little nervous for this interview, but was SO willing to open up and totally candid and it was pure joy. This is the ideal story of what it's like growing up Trans - with a support network behind you 100%. This is where we should be at in 2020. We covered everything from gender confirmation surgery options to the giant Inflatable Dancing People that flap around out the front of car yards. We went that deep. Prepare to have your day made.

Click above link for Quinn's spotify. AND while you're at it Check the Eloquent in the Room Spotify List

 

music credit: “Closet House” Quinn Carter Music Copyright 2018 *with permission of the artist.

 

Check out The Eloquent in the Room merch! Proceeds help keep the podcast going! Help me, help you. :)

 

 

October 13, 2020  

Call me Emme (Interview)

 "IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY Part 3

Hey guys, remember last time, we segued from Bisexuality into talking about Transgender - because my interviewee also identified as being Non Binary? This time it's my great privilege to speak to a wonderful 'mature-aged' trans woman by the name of 'Emme'. Her journey has been complicated, for various reasons... and because of those reasons, she is not 'out' to the world, 100% of the time. She still leads a dual existence, so we are especially fortunate that she has entrusted us with a glimpse into her world. 

This chat actually opened my eyes just that little bit wider, regarding the patriarchy & how it fosters misogyny;  particularly how it infects womxn with 'internalised misogyny'. I'm sure  you don't need me to tell you that JK Rowling is missing the point. 

BUT if you do, please have a listen! When seen through the trans lens, certain home truths about the patriarchy are harder to avoid. The sisterhood is made even stronger, when no one is left behind. Compared to previous episodes this is one's  a tad 'heavier' and could be triggering for some, but this is also a story seldom told and I feel extraordinarily privileged to share it with you and to honour this wonderful warrior spirit.

 

Credit Audio quote re:  Tootsie

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