The Eloquent in the Room

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January 5, 2021  

Midday in the Terrarium of Good and Not Quite As Good

Time for a Soapbox Rant 

Well. Guess who's got her knickers in a knot? (points to self)...THIS GUY!

There's no denying that 2020 was a shit show, and no one needs me to tell them that. We're all still angry, disillusioned, scared and confused by it all.

And now 2020 is over.

So, what did we learn? What did we teach? How did we behave?

For my first podcast of the new year I felt in need to vent. Sure, a lot of things happened, globally, that were out of our collective control. But what about the shit bits that we did have control over? Like, the way we reacted to the information we were being fed? How we conduct ourselves on social media - specifically Facebook? Why do we even still trust FB? This week I share some observations about my own tiny corner of the world, over this past year – and I'm fairly certain my online experiences were common. The U.S. election might be over, but the stench of all the bullshit is still polluting the air. Lest we forget!

Music: Big Mouth” (2020) by Beugs (with permission of the artist.)

Links for the information sources mentioned in the podcast:

Sexplanations (the sex positive, fun, encyclopaedic version of sex ed we DESERVE)

Your Diagnonsense (The thinking person's shrink)

Some More News (Well-researched, meticulously-written bullshit dissection).

Behind the Bastards (calling out miscreants and charlatans throughout history)

Jameela Jamil (fuck the patriarchy)

Janaya The Future Khan (black lives matter)

Matthew Bernstein LGBTQIA Angel 

December 22, 2020  

On Vaginas, Friendship, The Universe and Everything.

Story from the Vault (with a twist) #4

Yes, life is still chaotic, so here's another personal story for the holidays! You may find this particular anecdote hard to believe. Looking back, I still find it hard to believe, myself. 

Do you believe in fate?

Destiny?

Have you ever asked the universe for your heart's desire? You know...The Law of Attraction kinda stuff, hmm?

NO? Well, after listening to this crazy yarn, you might want to reconsider.

As I revealed in ep 13 “Good Will Hunter”, luck played a considerable part in bringing him into my life as a mentor – which resulted in me embarking on an unlikely career as a journalist. Well, an even more unlikely, extremely fortuitous adventure followed.

They say: “be careful what you wish for”. Well, I was. I was very specific when I made one particular wish.

And fuck me sideways, it came true!

NB: The word 'Vagina', is thrown around willy nilly in this ep...BUT, tbh I actually really mean VULVA (the external female genitalia). However, because the word vulva is not as pervasive within the vernacular and I'm also talking about VDay and The Vagina Monologues and a website called Vagina Vérité .

...I stuck with the word 'vagina' for consistency. But...I meant Vulva. OK? BTW, I also mention vegemite, but I honestly did mean to do that. I certainly did not mean to say Marmite. Just to be clear.

*Includes "The Vegemite Song" by Amanda Fucking Palmer.

December 8, 2020  

Good Will Hunter - (Story from the Vault #3)

It's Story Time Again, Folx!

**Content Warning: Contains spontaneous, raw emotion**

Because 2020 is still being unpredictable AF and because it's December already (like, WTF?) I have stuck a wee pin in the "Adulting Consent" series till after the holidays and I am gifting you with this story from my life, that I have retrieved from the ol' vault. Remember that time I dusted off previous articles about Kissing and Oral Sex (Episodes 5 and 6) and read them out loud with FEELING? Well this is kinda like that, but with a lot less saliva and a lot more vulnerability and anxiety.

This is the real deal. It's an act of baring my heart and soul to read you this warm and fuzzy TRUE STORY about how I even became a journalist in the first place, which even caught me off-guard. You'll laugh, you'll cry....you also might hurl, (but if you do, it's probably something you ate).

ENJOY! 

 

Follow me on INSTAGRAM. If for no other reason than I'm paying a 'reels' tribute to Kate Bush for a whole year. No, really. 

November 24, 2020  

Part II of Interview with Betty Martin (2/2)

Adulting Consent: Part 2

We're baaaack. As promised, here's part II of my extremely informative, completely irreverent, yet totally compelling interview with Betty Martin, the author of The Art of Giving and Receiving: The Wheel of Consent. As mentioned previously, if you want to know more about the practices that Betty espouses, there are some great instructional videos at bettymartin.org

This is where you will find out more about the book and learn cool trust games FOR FREE, like 'The Three Minute Game' (Betty mentions this only briefly in the podcast cos we were too busy chatting about orgasmic ecstacy and vulnerability & stuff, but that doesn't stop you from checking it out). Before listening to part 2, be sure you listen to part one! Both parts have their distinctive components. In Part One, Betty discusses how she became a Sacred (sexual) Intimate. In Part 2, we unpack our humanity in the context of how touch can trigger intense emotions. We ask - what makes Sacred Sex so 'sacred'? You get to hear me unloading some of my 'stuff' onto my new BFF and she reassures me I'm totally human.

What stuff you wonder?

Have a listen and find out. 

As a bonus, this podcast features (with the artist's permission) an original music track called "Your Skin Breathes Too" performed by Wandering Minstrel (feat DeepSea Lights). Make sure you also check the clip to this hypnotic track out on Youtube.

More links!

*Don't forget, The Eloquent in the Room has a cool spotify list too!

**Make sure you follow me on Instagram for more quirky and informative content!

***Betty makes brief mention of the book: "The Erotic Mind" by Jack Morin

November 10, 2020  

Interview with BETTY MARTIN (1/2)

New Series: 'ADULTING CONSENT' Part 1

Ok so I think I've got it worked out; we've been travelling backwards through time! Great Scott! If episode one was about orgasm, then that means it's finally time, to start talking about CONSENT! See what I did there? I made a grand statement to illustrate just how BACKWARDS people can be around consent. It was an analo...oh never mind. Let's just say it's such a nuanced topic, that I decided to start with the very basics:

By definition, consent is an agreement between people! Hmm, an agreement about what, exactly?

You're stumped already, right?

Well, an agreement on everything, of course! Betty Martin is an expert on the topic, having spent ten years writing a book called The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Her extensive training as professional pleasure facillitator (do check her incredibly impressive BIO) motivated her to dig deeper into human erotic desire, it's origins, fundamental impulses, barriers, blockages, boundaries and how it all connects us to triggering emotions. Given that raw sexuality has always been treated as a taboo for women, just as a need for tenderness and affection has always been seen as a weakness in men, it's little wonder we don't often understand the 'give and take' of the sexual pleasure exchange. (Not to mention 'receiving and allowing'!) You can see now why I thought this interview needed to be digested in two pieces. 

Our conversation was so delicious, I wanted to delay gratification. Meanwhile, for more information how The Wheel of Consent works, there are free video lectures here which explain it all in fascinating detail. And do check out The Wheel of Consent on Instagram! Follow my Insta too, while you're at it! 

 

Enjoying the podcast? Want to support a starving artist, while obtaining some top quality tee shirts? Get your Eloquent Merch here 

 

 

October 27, 2020  

WHAT’S IN A NAME? (Interview)

IXNAY ON THE INARY BAY part 4. 

21 yrs ago, a musician named Quinn Carter was born in a female body.  By the time they were 12 they could play over a dozen instruments - including some pretty awesome vocal chords. But they were also completely sure their body was the wrong fit. 

By the time they were 16 they continued to hone their craft, learning from the industry’s best while simultaneously embarking on the confusing personal journey of authentic gender identification. Nowadays he embraces the pronouns he, him, his. And the name Lucas Alexander. He's a "Pre T" (testosterone) Transgender Man and LGBTQIA+ activist. He has also become a sought-after musical director; singer-songwriter; music teacher. Professionally he has kept his birth name as his stage name: Quinn Carter. I call him Luca.

In 2018, he wrote 2 LGBTQIA+ themed songs for Jopuka Productions original play “Gaybies” and earlier this year he performed live on the Jopuka float at the 2020 Sydney LBTQ+ Mardi Gras.

He was a little nervous for this interview, but was SO willing to open up and totally candid and it was pure joy. This is the ideal story of what it's like growing up Trans - with a support network behind you 100%. This is where we should be at in 2020. We covered everything from gender confirmation surgery options to the giant Inflatable Dancing People that flap around out the front of car yards. We went that deep. Prepare to have your day made.

Click above link for Quinn's spotify. AND while you're at it Check the Eloquent in the Room Spotify List

 

music credit: “Closet House” Quinn Carter Music Copyright 2018 *with permission of the artist.

 

Check out The Eloquent in the Room merch! Proceeds help keep the podcast going! Help me, help you. :)

 

 

October 13, 2020  

Call me Emme (Interview)

 "IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY Part 3

Hey guys, remember last time, we segued from Bisexuality into talking about Transgender - because my interviewee also identified as being Non Binary? This time it's my great privilege to speak to a wonderful 'mature-aged' trans woman by the name of 'Emme'. Her journey has been complicated, for various reasons... and because of those reasons, she is not 'out' to the world, 100% of the time. She still leads a dual existence, so we are especially fortunate that she has entrusted us with a glimpse into her world. 

This chat actually opened my eyes just that little bit wider, regarding the patriarchy & how it fosters misogyny;  particularly how it infects womxn with 'internalised misogyny'. I'm sure  you don't need me to tell you that JK Rowling is missing the point. 

BUT if you do, please have a listen! When seen through the trans lens, certain home truths about the patriarchy are harder to avoid. The sisterhood is made even stronger, when no one is left behind. Compared to previous episodes this is one's  a tad 'heavier' and could be triggering for some, but this is also a story seldom told and I feel extraordinarily privileged to share it with you and to honour this wonderful warrior spirit.

 

Credit Audio quote re:  Tootsie

September 29, 2020  

Putting the ‘Bi’ in Non-Binary (interview)

IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY P2

This installment of the series is pretty much what it says on the tin - a fascinating chat about being bisexual - and being non-binary, with Melbourne based Artist, Performer and Harm Reduction worker: Jessie Ray

What makes this conversation extra intriguing is that Jessie first 'came out' , over a decade ago - as a LESBIAN. We explore their journey, not only in realising and coming to terms with their sexual orientation, but also how this process lead to a greater appreciation of the multitude of nuances within the ordinary, hackneyed concepts of 'masculine' and 'feminine'.

Remember way back in the first ep of the podcast, I said we'd throw the Female Sexuality rule book away? Well while we're at it, we're flinging 'The Gender Guide' away like it's covered in flaming poop.

NB: Confused about what it means to be Trans? Here's a handy guide to the TRANSGENDER Umbrella. 

**LINKS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

The Eloquent in the Room SPOTIFY LIST!

2015 performance of my ditty: "A Bi-rish Folk Song" - recorded and filmed by by Rascal Music at The Rhythm Hut in Gosford. 

Links to my CRUSH: #blacklivesmatter Activist & Model Janaya Khan

And a Link to Jessie's Celebrity Crush

September 15, 2020  

MY SON IS BISEXUAL& SO AM I (interview)

New series!  "IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY"

Part 1: It's BI PRIDE WEEK!

What better way to drag the much-maligned and misunderstood topic of BISEXUALITY out of the closet than to have a totally spontaneous, candid discussion with my 22 year old son about being bisexual.

I also thought it would be a great way to break in my interviewing skills too!

Interestingly, even though we grew up almost four decades apart - and, he's a boy and I'm not (and I am his mum,  and my parents died when I was in my 20s)  our experiences had some surprising commonalities.

bi the way***

My take on the word bisexual - refers to all identities under the BISEXUAL UMBRELLA  mentioned within this podcast I have embedded informative links to all sorts of resources relating to bisexual mental health and links to some heartbreaking and beautiful testimonials (including an amazing testimonial from Evan Rachel Wood). You will find them all in a concise little blog post HERE: WEBSITE and make sure you check my INSTAGRAM for more Bi Trivia. 

 

CONTENT WARNING:

Language: This discussion is blunt and to the point, so if you are remotely homophobic...steel yourself. It's for your own good. Also, I do use the phrase "identify as" a fair bit. It is not meant as any kind of 'qualifying'  or dismissive term. Coming up in this series I have the privilege to interview a few wonderful trans and non-binary folks.  What beautifully complex and interesting humans we all are!

Let's get busy deconstructing shit, shall we?

September 1, 2020  

A Consumer’s Guide to Oral Sex (Story from the Vault #2)

"A Slip of the Tongue" Part 2.

Last episode's "What's in a Kiss" was the perfect lip-locked air chamber between 2020 An Orgasmic Oddity. (eps 1-4)..and this rather 'out of left field' Master Class in the Art of Oral Sex. But, once the kissing started, it seemed only right to explore the many other delightful sensations that can be experienced in and around the mouth! Just for a bit of nostalgia, I've time-travelled yet again to retrieve an old story from the Vault. As explained in This Video on The Eloquent in the Room Youtube Channel, for the duration of the 1990s, I was a regular features contributor to AUSTRALIAN WOMEN'S FORUM MAGAZINE (1991-2001). It was known as "the one with the dicks" but the monthly centrefold was just the TIP of a very large female empowerment-berg. Keeping it mostly 100% intact, as written in 1999 (right down to the SEINFELD references) this popular exposé, originally entitled "A Consumer's Guide to Oral Sex" (published 1999) has found extra oomph podcast form, so enjoy these awesome 'giving head' tips, from my mouth...to your ears!

Just when you thought the Orgasmic Journey was over...there was a second coming!

MATURE CONTENT WARNING: This is a thorough tutorial with explicit language and some godawful 1990s Aussie Slang. The reading of the article, is preceded by a little fireside chat about CONSENT. It's only a few minutes long, so keep your mouth closed and listen!

IMPORTANT NOTE: Hygiene and safe sex tips are not given in detail during this podcast, so for that vital information, this episode of SEXPLANATIONS  on Youtube is highly recommended viewing - as are the rest of the videos on her channel. Dr Doe is the bomb. Check out her guide to cunnilingus also. She uses an oven mitt and a vulva diagram by way of visual instruction. It's not quite as sensual as this podcast but it's definitely instructive. :)

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